I am having some trouble with dreams.
Ever since I was little, I had forgotten all my dreams. I didn’t remember almost any of them, unless they were recurring- which led me to believe that I was born without the capacity to dream, and the dreams I did have were because of ghosts in the house. My sisters saw the ghosts, too, in their dreams, so I was sure this was true.
I know now everyone has dreams, and recently, I’ve joined their legions. I am experiencing very vivid dreams, pleasurable to unsettling in nature. Some are even horrific! They are as vivid and tangible as real life, and lately, I have been having immense difficulty telling the difference between things that happened in real life and in dreams. It’s gotten to the point where some of my dreams are clairvoyant. I think it’s less likely that I’m psychic and more likely that due to the sheer volume of dreams I have, eventually some of them are going to mirror real-life events, people, words, facial expressions, et cetera. And that my brain may be recalling these things retroactively and confusing itself.
My logic centers are deeply disturbed by all this, as am I, because I am really just my logic centers and little more. It is unnatural for logic centers to be disturbed because they do not feel, just deduce and compare and synthesize new ideas. Anyway, my dreams are really creeping me out. I can barely tell when I’m awake, and I have some evidence that I’ve been sleepwalking, too.
I don’t know, I needed to put my feels somewhere.
